Wedding Chaperon

I believe most Chinese in Malaysia are familiar with this profession called wedding chaperon a.k.a. Dai Kam Jie (in Cantonese). They have been seen in many traditional as well as contemporary Chinese weddings.

Wedding chaperon, is usually an auspicious married lady with living spouse, children, and grandchildren. She is also a quick thinker, has sense of humor, good at auspicious speeches, and well-versed in all Chinese wedding traditions, customs, and rituals. The wedding chaperon is traditionally hired by the bride's family to conduct traditional wedding ceremonies. In the modern era, I believe either side of the wedding couple's families can hire the wedding chaperon whenever they feel in need for one to perform the task.

Now that we all understand who a wedding chaperon is, lets look into what they do as a wedding professional!

Besides saying auspicious words and wishes, the most important requirement for a wedding chaperon is for her to provide guidance to the wedding couple. She will guide them through the traditional ceremonies and rituals such as the betrothal, bridal bed installation, wedding day prayer, and tea ceremony.

Let us further discuss the wedding chaperon's role in the tea ceremony. In most cases, we only think of serving tea to the elders in the family and that is it. Don't we? However, a wedding chaperon will make the ceremony merrier and interesting by introducing us to some unexpected items (will reveal what it is in just a moment). From what I recall from my sister's wedding, the wedding chaperon actually brought with her a pair of bibs for my parents (yay, the baby's bib but with some wedding-related decors on it!). It sounds funny but it carries a good meaning too! The bibs symbolize the long waited son-in-law for the bride's parents. Check out the pictures below! How cute my parents were?



The wedding chaperon not only presented a surprise to my parents, but there was another surprise for our relatives too. During tea ceremony, it is common for other family members and relatives (who are either older generation or relatives that are older than the wedding couple) to bring gifts to the newlyweds. As a token of appreciation, the wedding chaperon prepared some gold coins (usually a round-shaped chocolate wrapped in gold foil) for the newlyweds to present to the elders. The gold coins symbolize good fortune for those who wished or bought a gift to the newlyweds. What a loss if we did not hire a wedding chaperon for the wedding? We will not only miss out the fun, but also the meaningful symbols for the wedding!

Passion is an important key to becoming a successful wedding chaperon. It is the passion that motivates oneself to achieve certain level of competency in skills and knowledge of wedding traditions of different dialects in Malaysia. Knowing and be able to communicate in different languages does put a wedding chaperon in good place in the competitive wedding market. That way she is able to cater to greater amount of people and conduct various kind of weddings (not confined to just one market).

I personally think that this is the only profession/business that does not require a lot of media advertisement. A wedding chaperon becomes well known because of the words of mouth from their satisfied customers. A friendly and highly qualified wedding chaperon is highly sought after in Malaysia wedding market. To continue the tradition and retain the talented wedding chaperons, the valuable knowledge of wedding chaperon will then pass down to younger generations either through the mentorship program or some professional courses.

Are you currently looking for a wedding chaperon for your wedding in Malaysia? I have a list of experienced wedding chaperon profiles to share with you. Good luck in your wedding planning!



Source: Wedding.com.my
All pictures belong to author's personal collection.

Chinese Wedding
Betrothal Gifts

Now that you have done with formal proposal and birth dates assessment, it is time to find out what you have to do next. Yupe! It is time to prepare betrothal gifts. Remember: They need to be delivered up to a month or at least three days before the wedding day.

Betrothal ceremony is when two families officially acknowledge the marriage and give their blessings. An astrologist will be consulted to look up the auspicious date, and then, the groom, his relatives and matchmaker will deliver the gifts to the bride's family.

It is important to keep in mind that the total number of gifts must be in even number as it means good things double. The betrothal gifts usually include grand money ^ (聘金) wrapped in red envelope and the following items.

Traditional Chinese Wedding - Betrothal Gifts

1. Special Wedding Couplets (Jie Hun Xi Lian 结婚喜联)

It should be posted on the entranceways to home before the hair combing ceremony (more details on hair combing ceremony to be discussed in our upcoming blogs) and it can be taken down after a month from your wedding day. When choosing couplets for wedding; please make sure you get the correct couplets for the bride's and groom's family. Both families will be getting different couplets (which carry special meaning). So, let the expert does it for you!

2. A Pair of Double Happiness Stickers (Shuang Xi 双囍贴纸)

3. Four sets of Dragon & Phoenix Candles and Incense, including the one for Hair Combing Ceremony. (龙凤香烛)

4. Chinese and/or Western Wedding Cakes (中西式礼饼)

It is also known as Happiness Cakes and Dragon & Phoenix Cakes (喜饼/龙凤礼饼/嫁女饼). The total number of wedding cakes has to be in even number. Chinese presumes even number as the lucky number and should be used on festive events such as wedding.

5. Two Pairs of Gold-colored Coconuts with Double Happiness Stickers

Coconut is pronounced as "ye zi" in Mandarin; sounds like grandfather ("ye") and son ("zi"). It is used as wishes/omen of fertility for the newlywed.

6. Two Cans/Packs of Tea

Tea is planted with seeds, therefore, presenting tea as a gift implies that the family will have more seeds (offsprings) in future.

7. Four Peking Dried Fruits (四凉果)

May choose from any four items listed here:
Dried longan (龙眼), Lychee (荔枝), Walnuts (核桃干), Shelled Peanuts (连壳花生), Lily Bulbs (百合), or red dates (红枣).

8. Dried Seafood (海味)

May include four, six, or eight different kinds of seafood, including sea cucumbers, clams, dried shrimps, squids, shark fins, mushrooms, and etc. Also, it is important to include an edible moss long thin black threads, which known as fa cai in Chinese (发菜). It symbolizes fortune and prosperity.

9. Fruits (生果)

"Sheng Guo" - "Sheng" used to express liveliness for the newlywed (取其生生猛猛之意). The total number of fruits is 12, 18 or 36.

10. Fish

11. Poultries

Two Chickens/Roasted Ducks (two males and two females), and 2-4 kilograms of Pork.

12. Four bottles of Wine or Liquor

13. Gift box (贴盒)
It includes grand money (聘金), lotus seeds (莲子), lily bulbs (百合), cypress (扁柏), betel nuts (槟榔), sesame (芝麻), red beans (红豆), green beans (绿豆), walnuts (核桃干), dried fruits (四凉果), red strings (红头绳), two pairs of dragon-phoenix bangles (两对龙凤镯), and a pair of wedding couplets (一对喜联).

^ Grand money taken as a token for the bride's parents for letting the man to marry their daughter. The groom's family usually prepares $99, $999, or $9999 (depending on their financial capability) for the grand money because number nine (9) symbolizes forever ("Jiu") in Chinese. They are giving their blessings to the upcoming wedding.

Too much works to prepare all of the above?
Wondering if there is one-stop wedding service company out there who will be able to provide expert tips as well as the preparation works for the busy brides and grooms?

Thanks to the creative talents in the wedding market, one-stop wedding services providers are no longer short of in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia.

One-stop Wedding Services, Malaysia

Xilinmen Auspicious Services
囍临门结婚服务专门店

L-01-06, Block L, Jalan PPK 1,
Pusat Perniagaan Kinrara, Taman Kinrara, Seksyen 3, 47100 Puchong, Selangor, Malaysia.

Phone: (603) 8075 4959
(6012) 232 8978
(6016) 238 8978
Fax: (603) 8075 4959

Email: winnie@xilinmen2u.com
Web: www.xilinmen2u.com

Contact Person: Ms. Winnie


Happy Wedding Enterprise One-stop Wedding Services
喜洋洋结婚礼品专门店

568-1-3, Complex Mutiara, 1st Floor Jalan Ipoh, Batu 3 1/2, 51200 Kuala Lumpur.

Phone: (6016) 271 1176
(6010) 381 6733

Contact Person: Ms. Anna Wong


One-stop Wedding Services, USA

ChinaBridal.com
733 S. Atlantic Blvd. Monterey Park, CA 91754 USA

Phone: 1 (626) 205 3098

Email: shop@chinabridal.com
Web: www.chinabridal.com




Next, we will have dowry list and bridal bed installation topics coming up.

Stay tune,






Credit:
Betrothal Ceremony and Gifts, Happily Ever After Trading, http://francisleong.com
Traditional Chinese Marriage Proposal and Betrothal, China Bridal, http://www.chinabridal.com
Chinese Wedding Custom, http://www.theredwedding.com
Chinese Customary Wedding, http://www.redbliss.com.my
Malaysia Wedding Handbook, 2007, Sky Publisher
Flickr Photos, http://www.flickr.com
Life Pixels, http://yungyaw.net
Lian Bee Bakery, Malaysia, http://www.lianbee.com
Kee Wah Bakery, Los Angeles, http://keewah.us
Wing Wah Bakery, Hong Kong, http://www.wingwah.com

Asian Wedding
Chinese Wedding Rituals

As a Malaysian-born Chinese, I am always interested to know more about our Chinese wedding culture. It might be complicated, but it worth the effort to find out the interesting customs and rituals to be performed in a Chinese Wedding.

Before we kick start our traditional Chinese wedding planning, let's talk about the basic rituals included in the wedding ceremony - Three Letters and Six Etiquettes. Isn't it sound like the Western wedding culture - Something Old, Something New, Something Borrowed, Something Blue, and a Silver Sixpence in Her Shoe?

Not really...Chinese wedding ritual is far more complicated than this Western wedding tradition. The ritual of Three letters and Six Etiquettes is like a summary of the whole Chinese wedding planning process. It explains the formal proposal, gifts exchange, to the wedding itself. The Three Letters are Request Letter, Gift Letter, and the Wedding Letter. On the other hand, the Six Etiquettes consist of formal proposal, birth dates assessment, betrothal gifts presentation, acceptance of betrothal gifts, wedding date selection, and lastly, the wedding ceremony.

Three Letters and Six Etiquettes (三书六礼)

For Chinese people, a marriage begins with a series of three letters. The first letter is known as Request Letter (Pin Shu 聘书). It is a formal request for a marriage arrangement sent by the groom's family to bride's family. The Request Letter must be accepted by the bride's parents before the groom is allowed to marry their daughter. Once the letter is approved, the groom's family will send formal gifts to the bride's family along with the second letter which is known as the Gift Letter (Li Shu 礼书). The letter is like a record and it lists down the value of the gifts. Last but not least, the Wedding Letter (Ying Qin Shu 迎亲书). This letter will be given to the bride's family on actual wedding day. It confirms the act of bringing the bride into the groom's family and it officiates the union of the two families. (Having the same meaning as Unity Candle in Western culture.)

The Six Etiquettes begins with formal proposal (Na Cai 纳采). The groom's family will hire a matchmaker as middleman between the two unknown families when discussing the possibility of marriage. Once the bride's family accepted the proposal, the process is usually followed by the request of the bride's birth date (Wen Ming 问名). The matchmaker collects and compares the couple's birth dates whether or not their Chinese astrology compatible to each other. As soon as the couple's birth dates are confirmed compatible ^, the groom's family will have the matchmaker to present betrothal gifts (Na Ji 纳吉, the process of presenting the betrothal gifts) along with the Gift Letter (Li Shu 礼书) to the bride's family. The procedure of accepting betrothal gifts by the bride's family is known as Na Zheng 纳征. This procedure is equivalent to the Engagement in Western culture. After the betrothal gifts presentation/engagement announcement is done, an astrologist will be consulted to select an auspicious wedding date based on the Chinese Lunar Calendar to perform the wedding ceremony. This process is known as Qing Qi 请期. And finally, the last step of the marriage arrangement is the wedding ceremony itself, commonly known as Ying Qin 迎亲.



^ In modern days, most couples and their families no longer concern about the sign of astrological conflict. As long as the couple is deeply in love with each other and they are ready to build their future family together (they have grown up and ready to take care of the other responsibilities in life), their families will be happy for them.

To know more about Betrothal Gifts, we will discuss more in details at our next posting.

Stay tune,





Credit:
Chinese Marriage, Wikipedia, http://en.wikipedia.org
Three Letters & Six Etiquettes, http://www.chinaculture.org
Chinese Wedding Customs, http://www.chinese-poems.com
Chinese Wedding Traditions, http://www.chcp.org
Malaysia Wedding Handbook, 2007, Sky Publisher
Old letter image, http://www.txfannin.org